


cotton

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bathroom Sex, Breathplay, British English, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Crying, Dom/sub Undertones, Explicit Sexual Content, Feelings, Feminization, Filthy, Flogging, Fluff and Smut, Light BDSM, Lowercase, M/M, Mild Painplay, Oh My God, Semi-Public Sex, Underwear Kink, Women's Underwear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 20:14:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15251199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “fuck,” yukhei breathes, his voice heavy with that same need sicheng is feeling all over, “fuck, you're so pretty.”(or yukhei fucks sicheng a lot. with feelings.)





	cotton

so this is early morning, the part of early when the sun's just come out all too bright and white and turning everything washed-out like an overexposed photo. yukhei is in the shower, as he always is, and sicheng is up in the kitchen attempting to make pancakes. he's not sure how this all happened, how they went from just fucking to this, to yukhei sleeping in sicheng's bed every single night, wrapped all the way around him, and to spending long hours curled up on the couch and having breakfast together. he's not sure if he likes how this all makes him feel, how yukhei makes him feel, all open and undone, not just in a physical sense, but all soft and relaxed and at ease. it's the same way it feels after tripping and not actually falling, which, sicheng reckons, is also a very appropriate way to describe yukhei.

he stirs the pancake batter in the pan, mildly dissatisfied with how it won't fry properly, and that's when sicheng feels yukhei fold himself over him, hands on his hips and nosing at his neck, his damp chest pressed against sicheng's back.

“morning, princess,” yukhei drawls, thumbs rubbing at sicheng's hipbones, and his chin hooks over sicheng's shoulder, asking for a kiss.

sicheng obliges, lets yukhei press a sloppy lick against his mouth, and then he replies, “mm, morning.”

“are those pancakes?”

“yeah.” sicheng turns the heat on the stove up a bit more and wriggles in yukhei's grip, but yukhei doesn't relent, his hands so big that they encircle sicheng's waist almost fully. “blueberry pancakes.”

“mm.” yukhei's large hands rub down to sicheng's hips and pet at the prominent bones there where they're just peeking out from last night's knickers, sheer purple lace and ruffles, and he asks, “why're you making blueberry pancakes?”

“why not?”

sicheng flips the first pancake over, careful to have none of the oil from the pan splatter out and burn his bare chest, and then he finally leans back and lets yukhei kiss him a second time, their lips brushing over each other softly. he can feel yukhei pressing up against the cleft of his arse, even through their two pairs of underwear separating them, red-hot and urging him on, so he rolls his hips back a little.

“i like your knickers,” yukhei says against sicheng's lips when they've pulled apart for a second, his fingers petting the ruffles.

“thanks.” sicheng leans all the way back against yukhei and rolls his hips back just because he can. he wants it, of course he does, but he likes to listen to yukhei's breath go a bit faster and tighter, to feel those fingers on his hips tug him back against his cock. himself, he can already feel his own fatten up a bit, pressing against the stretchy chiffon of the knickers. “i like them too.”

yukhei's thumbs sink into the waistband of them and he growls, soft and low into sicheng's neck, “come here, love.”

sicheng barely has enough time to turn the stove off before yukhei is beckoning for him to turn around, and, the next second, walking them both over to the kitchen table and setting sicheng onto the very edge of it.

there's no pancakes that morning.

 

|

 

it's one lazy afternoon in sicheng's flat that yukhei brings up the idea of it. this is after they'd spent the morning popping in and out of high street shops, or rather, the lingerie sections, after yukhei shelled out too much money on frilly sheer lace things and kept his fingers lingering on sicheng's side the whole time even through the glances the cashiers threw at them.

right now, yukhei is splayed out on the mattress and sicheng watches him watch him as he looks at himself in the mirror, slipping on a pair of cotton-white floral knickers with pink lace trims.

from behind him, yukhei mutters, “fucking hell,” one hand trailing down to his cock and squeezing it lightly through the fabric of his pants.

sicheng looks at himself, at the contrast the pink makes with his skin colour, the little ribbon on the front that only accentuates the curve of his cock pressing against the fabric, and he's not going to lie, he looks fantastic in these.

“turn around, love,” yukhei drawls. “wanna see you.”

and sicheng does, deliberately slowly, and saunters over to the bed until he's just barely far away enough that yukhei won't be able to touch without getting up from his comfortable position.

“fuck.” yukhei licks at his own mouth, tongue flicking obscenely over the curve of his top lip, and pushes himself up on one elbow to plant his large hand onto sicheng' hip. “you're so pretty.”

sicheng smiles down at him and says, “thanks.”

he takes a step back and hooks his thumbs into the knickers' waistband, pushes them down his hips carefully and knows yukhei appreciates the view just from how dark his eyes have gotten, and how his hand keeps rubbing slow circles on the bulge in his pants.

“stop touching yourself,” sicheng insists, and yukhei does.

the pair he pulls out next from one of the bags is entirely white, half-sheer lace with a large bow above the bum. sicheng already knows that they're going to make his arse look incredible, and also, how much yukhei loves seeing him in white, so he takes his time with putting them on, relishing the feeling of the material dragging over his smooth-shaven legs. he takes a second to adjust his cock, then turns around on the spot slowly, and he appreciates that slow-deep breath yukhei sucks in when his back is turned more than anything.

“your arse looks like sin in these,” yukhei says, in that deliberately controlled way he's got when he's really turned on and doesn't want to show it, and sicheng fucking knew it. “come a bit closer, yeah?”

and sicheng does. he's still just out of yukhei's reach, still can only feel yukhei's eyes on him, trailing down along his hips and thighs, and maybe that's really his favourite part, not feeling pretty and delicate in his knickers and smudgy eye make up, but being wanted, knowing that all he has to do to drive yukhei mental is to slip on some frilly lace and bat his eyelashes. sometimes he's pretty sure that by now, yukhei loves the knickers more than he does.

“fuck.”

“you know you could just take me if you want, right?” sicheng asks and slides his thumbs into the elastic of the knickers' waistband. “just pin me down and rip these off with your teeth and have your way with me, and i wouldn't even mind.”

he wouldn't. yukhei wouldn't do this, because he's just as determined to be in control of himself as he is to control sicheng, but on the other hand, sicheng wouldn't mind if he did, either. his cock is already half-hard, pressing into the lace and stretching it out, and he really wants to get this over with already and have yukhei fuck him into the mattress. he slides the knickers down quickly this time, but he can't resist the temptation of snagging the waistband on his thumb and flicking them onto yukhei's chest.

after a second where yukhei just stares at him with heavy lidded eyes, he says, “d'you remember the black backless ones? you should put these on next.”

sicheng has to go through about three bags until he finds the pair of knickers yukhei is thinking of. they're flimsy see-through with pink ruffles running along the leg holes and only a small ribbon holding the back together, and yukhei looks at him like he wants to devour him even when he's only holding them up.

sicheng is careful when he steps into them, and just as he's got the sheer mesh pulled up to mid-thigh, yukhei asks, “you know what i think would be hot?”

“what?” sicheng asks back and pulls the knickers into place.

“you only ever get pretty for me.” yukhei raises one hand and motions for sicheng to come closer again, a gesture that probably shouldn't make his cock twitch and his hole clench around thin air. “i wanna take you out while you're all dressed up and show you off.”

this time, sicheng gets close enough for yukhei to actually take a hold of him. he lets his hands curve onto sicheng' hips, appreciatively runs them up and down and back to sicheng's arse, and just as yukhei's fingertips slip under the thin fabric, racing a shiver up his back, the words really get through to sicheng.

“yeah, why not.”

he hasn't thought about it before, but the way yukhei put it, the thought of being showed off, does sound rather appealing to him. besides, he gets mistaken for a woman often enough as it is, and he makes a rather attractive one fully prettied up, so he reckons no one would even be able to tell the difference.

“you're so beautiful, sicheng,” yukhei says onto the smooth skin just above the trim of the knickers, breath hot and one finger pressing its tip feather-light onto sicheng's hole. “how much more time are you going to spend trying on knickers?”

sicheng hisses out a sharp breath when that finger describes a small circle on his rim, and he wants it, knows how much yukhei wants it, and his nails scratch over yukhei's scalp. “not much longer,” he states, and has to resist rolling his hips forward when yukhei's mouth attaches to a patch of skin on his soft belly and sucks at it. “not much at all.”

yukhei makes a content humming sound and sicheng can feel him untie the little bow that holds the knickers together, feel the cool air really hit his arse when, the next second, yukhei's hands are pulling his cheeks apart. his legs go a little weak when yukhei's teeth tug at his knickers just the slightest bit, so he moves all the way onto the bed, knees on either side of yukhei's hips.

they kiss quickly, messily, sicheng's fingers still tangled in yukhei's thick hair, and when they pull apart, sicheng can't catch his breath for a couple more seconds, already all wound up just from yukhei's hands when his cock hasn't even been touched.

“i think i want to eat you out while you wear these,” yukhei's voice comes low and gravelly and sexy against sicheng's neck, lips grazing where the collar is digging into his flesh, “make you come with my tongue and my fingers and then fuck your mouth.”

sicheng's hips roll into yukhei's touch and he whispers out, “yes, fuck yes,” but really, he doesn't care what's being done to him. he's spent long enough only letting yukhei look and not touch already, and now all he wants is to have his hands and mouth and cock all over and inside him, no matter how.

“would you like that, princess? have me lick your pretty pussy?” yukhei whispers, sounding so, so filthy already, and before sicheng can even reply, he's flipping them both over and pressing sicheng down into the sheets.

“sounds perfect,” sicheng breathes into yukhei's ear and the next second, he connects their lips once again.

 

|

 

so that's how, in the end, sicheng ends up in a crowded club wearing three-inch heels and this little black strapless dress that's just wide enough to swish when he shakes his hips, yukhei's hands on his waist keeping him close. they'd been out to dinner earlier that evening, and it had gone more or less the same way it always does, with sicheng leaving the talking and the ordering to yukhei, and in fact, he couldn't help but notice that this time, they actually got fewer weird looks than usually. after, when they were walking back to the tube station, they'd passed the club and yukhei had suggested going in, and now, now yukhei is behind him and moving his hips to the beat of some dirty pop song.

sicheng isn't sure if he wants to be here at all. on one hand, he's got at least five guys tracking his every move, the type of glance that makes it obvious they're all mentally undressing him, picturing him as a flat-chested girl they want to devour and undo and wreck, and then there's the bulge of yukhei's dick in his trousers that's pressing against his arse every so often when he grinds his hips back. he's feeling incredibly wanted with all that attention heaped onto him, the most important person in the whole room, and yukhei's hands and the collar around his neck are digging into his flesh possessively as if to remind him who he belongs to. then, on the other hand, the music's shite and sicheng's cock is pressed half-hard against his hip by the black lace of his knickers, so when yukhei presses him all the way back against his chest and slurs pretty tipsy words into his ear, sicheng hopes it means they'll get out of here soon.

“what?” he shouts over the thump-thump-thump of the bass, over the haze of flashing lights and fog-machine fog that's clouding his brain. “i can't hear you!”

“what i said,” yukhei replies, his voice too loud and too close to sicheng' ear, “is we should go somewhere that's more quiet maybe.”

sicheng spins around in his grip as quickly as he can, skirt swirling around his thighs, and says, “thought you'd never ask.”

he lets yukhei drag him away quickly, through the maze of limbs and writhing bodies and noise, and when he realises that where yukhei is headed is the toilets, rather than the exit, his cock gives an excited little twitch. the men's room is empty when yukhei crowds sicheng against the sink and captures his lips in a bruising-rough kiss, but still, sicheng squirms against the press of his hips and the ring of yukhei's fingers around his wrists trapping him there.

“not here, please,” he breathes out when yukhei finally lets off his mouth, the music muffled enough by the thick walls and closed door for him to talk at a normal volume, “what if someone walks in.”

“want them to walk in on us,” yukhei's voice slurs into sicheng's ear, his hips pushing forward and forcing sicheng up onto the counter of the sink, his legs falling open. “want everyone to see how pretty you are for me.”

yukhei hooks his pointer finger into the front of the collar, asking for another kiss, and sicheng tilts his head back and gives him what he asks for, and his other hand strokes underneath sicheng's skirt and up to where the lace trim of the stockings he's wearing meets his thigh. his teeth sink down into sicheng's bottom lip and tug, make him mewl and squirm, and at the same time, that hand wanders further up to where sicheng's cock is pressing now fully hard against his knickers.

“fuck, babe,” yukhei slurs into sicheng's open mouth, thumb rubbing over where drops of precome are staining the fabric, “so wet for me already.” yukhei isn't drunk, sicheng knows that, maybe a bit tipsy off the wine, but he's acting like it, like he might forget himself and go past his own limits, and sicheng has to admit it's turning him on. his large hand closes around sicheng's throat, not choking, just claiming, as if sicheng could possibly forget who he belongs to, and he whispers, “you're so pretty.”

the next second, he's back to tugging at the lace where sicheng's knickers meet his thigh, sucking at his mouth like he wants to eat sicheng rather than just kiss him, and sicheng hooks his leg around the back of yukhei's thigh. he can't not let it happen, yukhei's hand digging into the soft flesh of his thigh and his fingers stroking at his jaw making him grow needy and open and desperate for it sooner than he would've wanted.

“come on, come on,” he urges between kisses, and then he finally remembers what his hands are for and presses yukhei back by his shoulders. “need your cock.”

when yukhei pulls away, his pretty mouth is smudgy with lipstick, and the next second, he's dragging sicheng off by his wrist again. sicheng isn't sure how he makes it to the nearest stall without stumbling and falling, considering he's bad enough at walking in these heels and now, with desperation clouding his brain, his knees give out a bit on every step, but then, as soon as yukhei has locked the door, he's being pressed up against the cheap plywood.

“fuck,” he breathes out, pain stinging in the back of his head, but yukhei' lips on his neck keep him from being too concerned with that. “fuck, come on.”

yukhei's hand slo-oooowly strokes up his thigh before it finally yanks at his knickers, shoving them down to his knees, and when his cock springs free, sicheng can't help but let out a sharp hissing noise. his hands go to yukhei's belt, open the buckle as quickly as he can manage, and then undos his trousers enough to get his dick out as well, already flushed and hard in his hand. so, so thick, too, makes sicheng's hand look that bit more dainty when he strokes it, and his hole clench at the thought of finally getting it inside him.

“you're very eager about this,” yukhei points out, hands finally, finally moving to sicheng's arse and pulling his cheeks open, index finger brushing over his hole.

“i'm horny,” sicheng replies and it's almost a whine, nerve endings tingling and goosebumps raising on his thighs from the sudden touch to the sensitive skin there. “i was sitting like this for most of dinner, you know.”

“you were hoping for this.”

“thought you were going to have me for dessert in the toilet at the restaurant, honestly,” sicheng admits, hands tangling in yukhei's messy hair just because he knows yukhei loves that, loves fingers softly pulling at his scalp, and walking out of the toilet looking freshly fucked, too, because deep down, he's a show off. “d'you have lube?”

“yeah.” yukhei pulls his hands away to reach into his jacket pocket and asks, no, commands, really, “turn around?”

sicheng braces his hands on the stall, and presses most of his upper body against it as well, because he knows that if he won't, yukhei is going to slam him into it with full force, and the next second, he can just barely make out the sound of lube being squirted out of its bottle over the soft thump of the music.

“fuck, you're such a pretty slag,” yukhei says, voice low and close to sicheng's ear once again, but this time, the tip of his cock is rubbing slick over his hole along with it.

“hurry it up, yukhei,” sicheng full-on whines, “please?”

and yukhei does, he forces most of his length into sicheng in one single thrust, burning and painful and absolutely glorious, sicheng's insides finally filled up like he's been craving. he's already well-stretched from earlier, from sloppily riding yukhei's dick after they'd woken up in the early afternoon, but still, he can't keep his eyes from watering and a few sniffles from slipping out.

yukhei doesn't stop or falter, though, sets up a steady rhythm to go with the beat of the song that's playing, and his one arm wraps around sicheng's waist over the dress.

“you're so tight,” yukhei half-says half-groans, “look so lovely for me when i fuck you.”

he rolls his hips faster, the head of his cock rubbing against sicheng's prostate every odd thrust, and all that sicheng can really do in response is squeak and push his arse back. he's straining to keep his neck straight, in an attempt to keep his head from slamming into the wall every time yukhei fucks into him, but then yukhei tugs at the leather of his collar with his teeth and he stops caring at all. his head falls against the plywood, skull aching with every shove, and he looks down at himself, his buckling knees with the knickers still around them, the dark material of the stockings and how yukhei's grip on him is making the dress wrinkle and bunch oddly. the way it's cut, it falls just so that his dick isn't visible, just so that the illusion is complete.

yukhei growls. “you're the prettiest bitch in this place tonight, you know,” his breath hot on sicheng's neck and lips just barely touching the skin there, and says, “got everyone looking at you but you're all mine.”

sicheng would roll his hips back if yukhei's grip on him wasn't too strong, wants to get more of that huge cock inside of him, so all he does is open his mouth fish-lipped and silent. he doesn't even think of a reply, doesn't want to speak, all he needs is to be thoroughly fucked and to have yukhei's voice in his ear, telling him more, making him feel wanted and ashamed and degraded and beautiful all at once. what he needs is yukhei.

“wish i could fuck you bent over the sink so you can watch yourself in the mirror and see how good you look,” yukhei breathes, quickening his thrusts just a slight bit, as if he could read sicheng's thoughts, and his hand finally goes to sicheng's cock, not stroking or squeezing, just loosely cupping, “so every guy who comes in here would wish he was fucking you instead.”

then it's there, the squeeze, yukhei's thumb rubbing circles over the head of it, and he says, “and none of them will know if you're really a girl or just a pretty bitch boy.”

yukhei's weight drops forward and squeezes sicheng further into the wall, knocks the air from his lungs, and this time when his lips drop open, the only sound that comes out is a series of moans that get lost in the song around them.

 

|

 

they're on tour, somewhere in europe again, when it happens. it's a few minutes until they're set to go on stage, and sicheng is reapplying his eyeliner at the one mirror backstage. he's been on edge for the whole day, really, shaky with his chest constricting, making it harder for him to breathe. his hands are shaking when he traces the bottom of his eye, somehow without crooking the line, and more so when he's uncapping his wand of mascara. earlier tonight, he'd contemplated dragging yukhei off into an empty corner of the venue and have him fuck him into a wall, or maybe swallow his cock down to the base, anything to take that edge off, but now it's too late and yukhei has disappeared off to somewhere.

sicheng is applying mascara to the bottom lashes on his right eye when he hears jaehyun's voice call his name, and judged by how loudly he's saying it, sicheng guesses that maybe, it wasn't for the first time.

he puts the mascara away and turns around, and only then replies, “what d'you want?”

“are you okay?”

“what?”

“if you're okay.”

“yeah,” sicheng says. he's got the collar hidden underneath his scarf tonight, and at least there's that, the press of the leather into his skin, that's helping him keep his breathing easy and regulated. “of course i'm okay.”

“listen,” jaehyun starts, and his hand comes to sit heavy on sicheng's shoulder. sicheng has to resist the urge to flinch. “yukhei isn't here, yeah? you can tell us if he did anything to you.”

from where they're both sitting on the sofa some feet away, johnny and mark make affirming faces and nod. sicheng's chest is pulled so tight that he's not sure how he's even still breathing. the way he sees it, he prefers it like this, to keep whatever it is they've got a secret, just between him and yukhei. he's tried his hardest to hide it, covering the bruises and marks and the collar, but now jaehyun is looking at him with big wide eyes fixated onto him, and sicheng's insides feel floating and empty, nauseous. as if yukhei's actual hand would reach back, he covers the hand print-shaped bruise that's sitting on his hip.

“what do you mean by that?”

“sicheng,” jaehyun says, and that hand squeezes down onto his shoulder. “look. we're all in this band together, if yukhei ever hurts you we've got a right to know.” jaehyun's voice is all low and earnest, his eyes still trained on sicheng's. he's barely three inches taller than sicheng, at most, but with how small sicheng feels at that very second, it feels more like three feet. “we can help you get help.”

sicheng is half tempted to play dumb, but that might make it worse, so he says, “thanks, but i don't need help.”

jaehyun's breath is low and exasperated-sounding and smells like cigarettes. “sicheng,” he starts again. “has yukhei ever hit you?”

“i don't think it's any of your business what yukhei and i do.”

that night, when they're on stage, sicheng isn't sure how he makes it through the gig. his fingers tap the keys as they always do, but to his own ears, it sounds strange, different, and he's pretty sure that he's off-key and that jaehyun's eyes are fixed onto him for the whole set. he's aware that all that is just making it worse, is just going to make tom think he's right in his suspicions, and all that makes the floating feeling in his gut worse, makes him feel like he's being ripped open.

the only thing that keeps him going is the fact that at one point, yukhei stalks over to him and breathes down his neck as he slurs into the microphone, the other hand creeping to his shirt and pulling at the collar, and it's those few short seconds when sicheng feels completely safe and open, completely owned by him.

after they've finished playing, yukhei crowds sicheng into the grubby bathroom backstage and kisses him until he can't breathe, and then fucks him while he's carefully balanced on the sink, and when he whispers, “mine,” onto the shell of sicheng's ear at one point, the tears actually start flowing and sicheng rakes his nails up yukhei's back in an attempt to distract him.

 

|

 

it's one late evening and they're in yukhei's flat, with sicheng spread out on the stupidly fancy black silk sheets, face down with his arse raised up high. he's got to admit that he rather enjoys how they feel on his front, albeit not as much as he likes the fit of the knickers he's wearing tight against his cock. yukhei is behind him, straddling his thighs and so, so there even when the only part where they're touching is the soft press of their legs together. yukhei has his grip tight on the leash that's wound through the d ring of the collar, though, so there's that, too, the knowledge that if he wants, he can drag sicheng around and make him obey as he pleases, and that thought is enough to get sicheng's face all flushed and his cock half-hard.

“are you sure you want me to do this?” yukhei asks, and the next second, his thumbs are rubbing soft circles against sicheng's back, just above where the ruffled trim of the knickers is resting.

“of course i do,” sicheng replies, “i asked you to, didn't i.”

with the way his head is turned, he can just barely make out yukhei behind him, stripped down to his pants and hesitantly taking the flogger they've got into one hand. it's a rather lovely flogging paddle that he'd picked, thick and wide with hearts cut into it, so every hit will hurt that bit more. technically, this is nothing they've never done before. yukhei had bent sicheng across his lap and spanked him more than once, but that had always been punishment for sicheng, for kissing strange blokes at clubs or being too loud when they were at risk of getting caught or just for generally playing hard to get and riling yukhei up. not that it had been very effective punishment, mind, since the stinging pain had only ever served to make sicheng squirm and groan and grind his dick into yukhei' thigh, but still. this is different, mainly because sicheng had explicitly asked yukhei to hurt him this time around, rather than acted out to invite it.

“i don't want to seriously hurt you,” yukhei says, all soft and unsure, and lets the thick leather of the paddle trail carefully over sicheng' side.

“but that's what i want.” sicheng leans into the touch and has to hide his smile in his arms folded up in front of him. honestly, he thinks it's rather cute, those little moments when yukhei stops acting all dominant and in control and shows that on the inside, he's still the slightly inexperienced teenager he was when they first started doing this. “if it's too much for me i'll word out, yeah?”

“yeah.”

“we'll start with ten smacks,” sicheng decides, because that's usually the amount it takes for him to start breaking down and begging for a cock in him when yukhei is using his bare hand, and with the flogger, it should be more than satisfying. “should be enough.”

“all right.”

the next second, yukhei is pulling the knickers down, the cool air of the room really hitting sicheng' bum and making his skin prickle with goosebumps.

“you've a lovely arse, fuck,” yukhei breathes.

one hand strokes softly over sicheng's left buttock before he reaches out and smacks it, just barely hard enough to jolt. sicheng bites his lip at that, but it's not near hard enough, not as hard as he wants to get it from the paddle.

“less talking, more flogging,” he points out and wiggles his arse a bit toward yukhei, as if to entice him.

that seems to work, or at least, sufficiently piss yukhei off, because the next second, his leash is being yanked backwards harshly, and yukhei growls, “shut up.”

the very next second, sicheng can see him raise the paddle, then the sharp slapping sound of leather on skin, and only after that, as if it takes a second for the pain to hit, he feels the sting on his cheek, the flesh throbbing where it's been hit. the same sensation makes his cock twitch where it's still trapped inside his knickers, makes his toes curl and his fingers bite into the sheets.

“is this right for you?” yukhei asks, brandishing the paddle in the corner of sicheng's eye once more.

“it's perfect,” sicheng replies and attempts to shift so he can stick his arse even higher up. “hit me again.”

yukhei does. sicheng has to burrow his face into the pillow on the third blow, dry the small tears that slip from his eyes when the flogger meets his skin, and also, keep his hips from jumping forward and grinding into the mesh of the knickers.

“fucking hell,” yukhei whispers, and his nails rake across the sore skin, irritating it further.

“come on, keep going.” sicheng's cock has already fattened up, stretching out the knickers around it, but he needs more than that, needs proper touches, touches and ache, so he arches his back down even further.

the next hit comes, and sicheng takes it relatively well, only winces a little and worries his lip between his teeth. it's not until the sixth blow when the pain really gets to him, the flesh of his arse raw and throbbing and painful, fingers tangled so tightly into the sheets they're aching as well. the tears are coming now, too, flowing hot and sticky over his cheeks, but at the same time, his cock is fully hard now, straining against the soft fabric and getting it sticky with precome, and he just needs. needs more, a lot more, what he needs is to be beaten until his nerve endings all over are on fire, because this isn't enough. sicheng needs yukhei's fingers around his cock and yukhei's cock deep inside of him and yukhei's hand on his throat, needs as much contact as possible, but he knows that everything that happens to him is entirely up to yukhei's decision, knows that it's not over yet by far, so instead, he just sniffles.

“sicheng? do you want me to stop?” yukhei's voice is soft, so soft it feels like being mocked, because that's the exact opposite of what sicheng wants. what he wants is.

“no,” sicheng replies, soft and watered-down and more of a whine, really, “more, please, i need more.”

he catches himself, how desperate and needy he sounds, and maybe that's why yukhei strikes him extra hard on the next blow, so hard that his bones lock up for a split second and the metallic taste of blood enters his mouth. still, it makes his cock twitch, the friction from the knickers barely enough to stop him from sobbing.

the actual sobs only slip out on the blow after, gross, loud sobs that can't be muffled by sicheng hiding his face in the pillow. at the same time, his hips roll back, the friction of yukhei's briefs against his hypersensitive skin only making his need worse, so he sobs some more.

“sh, princess,” yukhei purrs.

his hand tugs at the leash just firmly enough for sicheng to get the idea and turn his head, albeit hesitantly. he's not sure if he wants yukhei to see him like this, face sticky and stained with tears and mascara, all undone and in pain and gone. it's not the first time that yukhei has completely undone sicheng, has left him shaking and tense and boneless at once, but this is the first time he's actually made sicheng cry. honestly, sicheng isn't sure whether he hates yukhei seeing him like this or enjoys having this more.

“only two more, then it'll be over, okay, love?”

sicheng has to sniffle once again when he sees the way yukhei looks at him, eyes dark and heavy, clearly revelling in how much he's wrecked him, but he nods. “okay.”

he turns his head once more, presses his forehead down into the pillow, and when the next blow hits, he only lets out a soft whimper. he's all the way gone, now, only cares about how the throbbing in his arse mirrors the throbbing of his cock, about that little bit more he needs to finally get relief, and about letting yukhei, about yukhei's eyes on him, yukhei being satisfied with what he's turned sicheng into. it's all about yukhei and himself being owned by yukhei.

“fuck,” yukhei breathes, his voice heavy with that same need sicheng is feeling all over, “fuck, you're so pretty.”

and with that, before sicheng can whine and complain about yukhei stalling, he reaches out and delivers the last blow, swinging the paddle just so that it manages to hit across both of sicheng's cheeks. then, then it's over and sicheng lets go and completely collapses down into the sheets. the tears are still flowing, his bum still throbbing and irritated, cock still straining hard, but it all gets clouded over in his brain with how soft he's gone, how all that matters any more is that yukhei is satisfied with him.

“sicheng? love? are you all right?” yukhei's hands stroke over the sore flesh, so feather-soft it's soothing. “you've gone all pink. i think i made you bleed a bit.”

sicheng sniffs, and when he says, “'m all right,” it's nothing more than a whimper. he is all right, really, wound up with the need to come and aching, but yukhei is softly-softly wrapping his arms around sicheng' middle, folding himself around him and keeping him safe, peppering little kisses onto his shoulders and neck, and like that, he feels completely protected.

“let me see your face.”

yukhei gently-gently eases him from hands and knees onto his side, careful not to put any pressure onto his arse, before he removes the leash from the collar and then makes a move to unbuckle that as well. sicheng lets him, even when he'd rather have it stay on for a little longer, just to remind him he belongs to someone, but he's too tired to protest, and when yukhei presses soft kisses onto his neck the next second, he doesn't mind at all any more.

“sicheng, babe, you're still crying,” yukhei whispers, his voice all soft and concerned, and his thumb comes up to wipe the tears away.

“i know.”

“you've been so wonderful tonight. so lovely.” yukhei kisses sicheng's mouth, soft and half-open because he can't bring himself to close it again, and sicheng doesn't kiss back. “you're always wonderful, love.” he presses soft-soft kisses to sicheng's cheeks, his chin, his forehead, one hand stroking softly down his arm while the other one stays under his chin, because without that, sicheng wouldn't be able to keep his head up. “so wonderful and beautiful and brilliant, i love you.”

and sicheng would relax, the way he always does normally after yukhei has undone him like this, except he feels so soft and slack that it would be impossible for him to relax any more, so instead, he just whimpers wordless sounds.

“does it still hurt?”

sicheng shakes his head, just a slight bit, and this time when he whines, it turns into an actual word. “yukhei.”

“what do you want, love?”

“can you get me off?” sicheng asks, and immediately feels kind of weird for disrupting the tender moment, but then, his dick is still lying fat and hard on his stomach, finally no longer trapped inside the knickers.

“yeah,” yukhei whispers, and when he kisses sicheng again, sicheng has the strength to kiss him back this time. “of course, babe.”

his hand wraps around sicheng's cock, so big it covers most of it, and tugs softly. the angle is awkward, but still, it only takes a few quick strokes until sicheng comes, finally, finally. his legs tighten and his eyes clench shut, goosebumps rising all over his skin, and then he lies back onto the bed, all finished and empty and satisfied.

“thank you,” he breathes, reaching one arm out to throw it across yukhei's chest, just to keep him there and ensure he won't leave, “for everything.”

“it's all right, love.” yukhei moves his clean hand to sicheng's chin and tilts his head the right way to peck the corner of his mouth, and then he says, “i've got to wash my hands and get you cleaned up. let me just go to the bathroom, i'll be right back, yeah?”

and sicheng wants to say no, wants to keep yukhei here with him and just keep him forever, keep being yukhei's, but on the other hand, he knows that yukhei means it when he says he'll be right back.

“yeah, all right.”

“d'you want a glass of water?”

“yeah, i think.”

 

|

 

it's another early morning and yukhei is still asleep. this morning is cool and dewy and cloudy, the rain from last night left in small puddles around sicheng's feet where he's standing on the balcony. he's shivering, can see the skin of his cold feet slowly turn white and blue, a harsh contrast to the pink polish on his toenails, and the goosebumps run up his legs. he's pretty sure his skin is turning prickly with goosebumps all over, even under last night's knickers and yukhei's shirt that he'd slipped on after he woke up. it's one of the ones that are already big on yukhei himself, but on sicheng it's so huge, he almost feels like he's drowning in it. the collar of it hangs down to below his clavicles, the sleeves go to just past his elbows and the hem covers the knickers he's wearing entirely, only stopping at mid-thigh. it doesn't exactly keep him warm, but the fabric is soft and smells like yukhei's cigarettes and his sweat and the stinking cologne he wears. as if he's got yukhei wrapped around him, as a friendly reminder of who he belongs to, and sicheng isn't sure how much he likes that thought. the balcony is cold, so cold it makes him shudder bone-deep, and he lights another cigarette and is fully aware that it'll make it worse.

he's on the third or fourth drag when he feels yukhei's arms wrap around his middle, yukhei's chin fitting itself over his shoulder, and he almost drops his stick in surprise.

“morning, princess,” yukhei drawls, voice even slower and deeper with sleep than it normally is.

“hey,” sicheng replies, his one hand settling across yukhei's broad arm on his waist. “you scared me.”

“sorry. didn't mean to.” yukhei is still toasty-warm as if he'd just gotten out of bed, his bare chest warm against sicheng's back, his hands are warm and the bulge of his dick where it's pressing into the dip of sicheng's arse is especially warm. he smells like sweat and sex and sleep. “i like your shirt.”

“yeah, me too.” sicheng leans back into yukhei's touch and relaxes, lets the warmth slowly heat him up. he looks down at his hand on yukhei's arm, even his skin tone is warm, soft brown that makes a contrast to the sandy hue of sicheng's freezing hand and the hot pink on his stubby nails.

“you know you're basically my girlfriend by now, right?” yukhei asks. “with your knickers and make up and now you're wearing my shirt, too.”

sicheng isn't sure what to say, so he just laughs softly and reaches out to stub his cigarette out on the balcony's banister.

“fuck, you're freezing.”

“yeah,” sicheng replies, teeth chattering just a small bit. “it's cold.” he frowns a bit, because it's true, he's just as cold as he was before yukhei showed up, yukhei himself only getting colder against his back instead of warming him up.

“we should go inside.”

yukhei keeps his hand resting on the small of sicheng's back the whole time as he leads him into the living room. they sit on the sofa and yukhei almost immediately leans into sicheng' side.

“you're still so cold,” he says after it's been quiet for a small while, one hand on sicheng's knee, large and warm, and sicheng nods. “d'you want me to make tea?”

“you don't have to,” sicheng says and lies down onto the sofa, so he's on his back with his head propped up on a throw pillow and his feet dangling down over the edge. yukhei is already warm again, and all that sicheng wants at that moment is for him to stay, to warm him up as well, so he tugs at his wrist. “stay here.”

“all right.”

yukhei is careful when he moves to lay himself on top of sicheng, only lets his weight settle down very slowly, and his face immediately goes to sicheng' neck, burrowing in the skin there. his arms wrap around sicheng's waist once more and for a second he just stays there, as if he wants to breathe sicheng in. “gonna warm you up.”

“mm.”

yukhei is heavy and warm and his hair is tangled when sicheng threads his fingers into it. he slowly, slowly moves his one leg to bracket yukhei's hips, and then they're all tangled together. it's nice.

“i had a dream about you tonight,” yukhei says after a few seconds.

“mm,” sicheng goes once again. “what kind of dream?”

“the dirty kind.” yukhei sniggers softly against sicheng's collarbone, and sicheng laughs along just because and brings his arm up to lay across the broad expanse of yukhei's shoulders.

“best kind of dream.”

“yeah.” yukhei lifts his head and connects their lips together, soft and brief. when he pulls back, he says, “i dreamed that i had you on your back. and you were all soft and shaky and gasping and trying to beg.”

sicheng sighs a bit and has to resist the urge to grind his hips up against yukhei. he rather enjoys that mental image, thinking about himself all submissive and too-far-gone and spread out, his favourite state to be in, and he can't help but already get excited by the thought of a second round.

“what did you do to me in your dream?”

“well.” yukhei hides his face in sicheng's neck, as if he's ashamed of what he's about to say. “i dreamed i was fucking you and choking you at the same time. with my hand around your throat.”

at that, a long deep shiver runs down sicheng's spine, and this time, his hips actually do rise up from the sofa a bit. “wow,” he breathes, and tries his hardest to make it sound like he's not overly interested.

yukhei pulls away and looks up at him with big dark eyes. “do you think that's weird or anything?” his voice is soft and sleepy and hesitant, like he's legitimately concerned sicheng might be put off by his words, and sicheng has to smile at his face and kiss him for a few soft moments. this is his favourite yukhei, the one that's all his and kind of insecure and not sure what he's doing, and sicheng wants to keep him forever.

when he pulls away, he says, “well, yeah, of course it's weird,” and then adds, “not the bad kind of weird, i mean.”

he's got to admit that he hasn't really thought about it yet, but he enjoys the thought a lot, yukhei holding him down and restricting his air supply, giving up even that last bit of control. some nights, when he's been bad and needs punishment, yukhei will buckle the collar up tighter than it should be, make it harder for him to breathe, but that's nowhere near what this entails, nowhere near what sicheng just realised he's been craving.

“so do you think,” yukhei starts and then stops to turn his face away once more. “do you think you'd let me actually do that to you?”

“if you want to,” sicheng says and pulls him just that little bit closer to really feel him, “i think i'd definitely like it if you did that to me.”

yukhei makes a content humming noise and buries his face in sicheng' neck once again, but then his voice comes muffled, “i still need to shower.”

sicheng scratches at his scalp where he still has one hand firmly on the back of yukhei's head and listens to him purr. underneath the shirt and knickers, his skin has gone gross and sticky with last night's sweat and come, and besides, maybe a good slow shag under the hot water would warm him up properly. “mind if i join you?”

 

|

 

so they're in europe, still, and this is a few days, maybe a week after jaehyun had cornered sicheng in the dressing room. since then, they hadn't been able to sneak away for a shag, not even a quick hand job or blow job in a backstage toilet, and whenever they were around the other guys, which was pretty much all the time, sicheng could feel jaehyun's or johnny's or mark's eyes shooting daggers at him whenever he did as little as stand next to yukhei.

now, though, now they've managed to somehow stay behind at the venue while the rest of the band went to explore whatever city they're playing that night – switzerland, sicheng is sure they're in switzerland – and sicheng is slowly, ever so slowly sinking down onto yukhei's cock. he lets his hips drop slowly, centimetre by centimetre, and judged by yukhei's face, by his pretty plump bottom lip caught between his teeth and the look in his eyes, he's going too slow. even then, when he finally bottoms out, he still has to take a second to settle down in yukhei's lap and hiss out a deep breath.

“okay?” yukhei asks, his voice heavy with sex, and his finger traces over where sicheng's hole is all stretched out.

“yeah,” sicheng whisper-says and experimentally rocks his hips back and forth, still all too slowly. yukhei's dick grinds against his insides and over his prostate, sending deep, deep chills up his spine, and he groans. he doesn't think he'll ever get used to just how huge yukhei is, filling him up and stretching him out. it's almost painful, really, but the sweetest kind of pain that makes his breath hitch and runs little pleasurable shivers up his dick.

yukhei's thumbs rub circles into his skin where his hands are up sicheng's half-undone shirt, resting on his waist, as if to tell him to take his time with adjusting, so sicheng carefully raises his hips and thrusts back down once more.

this time, yukhei groans, fingers squeezing down a bit while his hips twitch, and sicheng hisses along with him when the change in angle causes yukhei's dick to press right up against his prostate for a long few seconds. sicheng rocks his hips a second time and relishes the feeling of yukhei's big cock filling him, how yukhei's face softens with gratification into a small smile, and he can't help but smile back.

yukhei moves forward to close the gap between them and connect their lips together for one short, tender moment, and when he pulls back, he says, “fuck. i've missed this.”

sicheng sets up a soft, slow rhythm, rolls his hips in tight circles just so to make the head of yukhei's dick rub over his prostate every other thrust, and yukhei just lets him. he sinks back into the upholstery and doesn't even buck his hips back a little, and sicheng isn't sure if he likes it like this.

what he wants, what he craves after the last few days of no sex, he needs yukhei to flip them both over and fuck him thoroughly into the upholstery where plenty of other people have probably already been fucked, but he knows better than to ask yukhei for favours. if yukhei wants a slow fuck, he gets one. instead, sicheng points out, “it's been less than a week.”

“eight days.” yukhei's hands dig tighter into his hips and tug and pull sicheng onto his cock in time with his downward thrusts, and like that, the rhythm speeds up a bit, forces a tiny gasp from sicheng's mouth every time yukhei's dick rakes over his prostate.

“really?” he asks when he's gotten his breathing back in check, and yukhei nods back at him.

his big hand goes to the back of sicheng's neck and gently guides their lips together once again, but with the other one, he keeps guiding sicheng to speed up.

“you've gone all tight from not fucking me,” he observes, in this soft and quiet way that he'll say completely obscene things, and sicheng has to smile at that.

yukhei's hands are unfocussed, stroking up sicheng's side and down his back, trying to get to as much of him as possible, maybe, before they finally slip up his shirt once more and pull his cheeks apart that bit further when he's already stretched out, one finger tracing his sensitive rim.

“such a tight pretty pussy you've got.” yukhei looks up at sicheng all expectantly, mouth caught half-open with tiny sighs, and sicheng curls his fingers around his jaw and kisses him once more, slick and messy and needy, a harsh contrast to just how gently they're fucking.

sicheng rocks down a bit faster, tries to impale himself on yukhei's cock even further than he already is on every downward thrust, moves his hips in tight little circles, but even then, that's still not enough. what he needs is for yukhei to wreck him, to feel his hips slapping against his arse and his fingers leaving bruises, he needs as much as yukhei can possibly give him. at that thought, the moans start to bubble out of his mouth, soft and slow and desperate, and as much as he tries, he can't hold them back, so he just keeps letting them out and yukhei eats them up straight from his lips. yukhei's mouth is swallowing sicheng up, it feels like that, keeps connecting to his with soft plump lips and teeth tugging hectic at his lips as if to keep him from pulling away, and sicheng wouldn't even think of it. he keeps his mouth working with yukhei's, feels his lips grow puffy and sore from kissing and feels the steady push and pull of their hips against each other build him to a high, just lets it happen for what feels like minutes.

it's good, but not as mind-bendingly great as sicheng wants it to be, so as soon as yukhei finally lets off his mouth, the first thing spilling from his mouth is, “more, come on. i need more.”

yukhei laughs, just for a short second, and whispers, “bossy bitch,” into sicheng's neck, but his fingers move back to where they were on sicheng's hips.

the next time he tugs sicheng down onto his cock, his hips snap up at the same time, not going deeper than before, but harder, and sicheng feels like bursting, all filled up like that, and he groans.

“fuck.”

his toes curl and uncurl with the sudden intensity of the shivers running up his spine, his legs shaking, but he manages to use them to push himself up and down on yukhei's dick that much faster. he's already pretty close, can feel it slowly building in the pit of his stomach, and judged by the dazed look on his face and how much harder his hands are pulling at sicheng's hips, yukhei is too, the plane of his chest sticky with sweat when sicheng braces his hands on it for leverage.

“i want you again tonight after our set, i think,” yukhei says between two especially quick thrusts, in that unexpectedly gentle tone again, and it makes sicheng shiver more so than being fucked this hard does. “need to catch up on everything i've missed.”

“mm, maybe,” sicheng breathes out after he's halfway caught his breath, but it comes out sounding more like a garbled moan. his hands begin to slip, so he digs them into yukhei's skin, feels the groan that pushes out of his mouth, and then he says, “jaehyun knows about us, you know.”

he doesn't really mean to say it, or maybe he does, because yukhei is a much better fuck when there's something riling him up, and he gets what he asked for, which is yukhei scratching long, deep lines down his hip with one hand while pulling him closer by the nape of his neck with the other. yukhei's teeth sink into his neck just below the collar and leave a mark, and when he pulls back, when the mark is throbbing angrily, he says, contrastingly soft, “does he now.”

“he does.” yukhei' hand returns to sicheng's arse, fingertips trailing just where his cock is sliding in and out, and sicheng continues, “he's been watching us.”

yukhei laughs. “you reckon he's jealous?”

his hips buck up harder than before, at a slightly different angle, and sicheng isn't sure how he manages to bite back the moan that threatens to slip out of him when yukhei's dick rubs right over his prostate.

“he thinks you've been hitting me.”

“funny what people think.”

yukhei's fingers hook under the collar and pull him forward to kiss him once more, and when he pulls back, the first two fingers of his other hand are right at sicheng's lips, and sicheng doesn't need to be instructed any further. he sucks them straight down to the knuckle, swirls his tongue around them to get them properly wet, and when yukhei groans, he bobs his head a bit just for show.

“you're such a dirty little girl,” yukhei says, his voice dark and dirty, but still soft as if to make it obvious that it's supposed to be a compliment, and then he adds, “and jaehyun's an idiot.”

he pulls his spit-slick fingers away from sicheng's mouth, so abruptly that it leaves a small string of saliva clinging to his lips, and when they kiss once again, those fingers are prodding at his hole.

“come on, princess,” yukhei says, smooth and slick and sexy, and sicheng is so far gone, his cock slapping aching-hard and untouched against his stomach on every thrust, his whole body tight and ready to come. yukhei says, “want you to come for me.”

it only takes the tips of both fingers to slip in, carefully pressing sicheng more open than he already is, and he does, slowly and aching with one long keen, his dick pulsing out splutter after splutter of milky come over yukhei's abs.

yukhei sighs, so deep it's barely audible, and sicheng can feel his dick twitch all too clearly with how crowded his hole is, feel him finish inside.

they sit there for a few long seconds after, when yukhei has pulled his fingers back out and swiped them through the mess on his own stomach, letting his dick soften inside sicheng while he's feeding the sticky fluid on his fingers back to him, and it's soft, intimate, despite how inherently depraved it feels.

“i've got to take a shower,” sicheng says, finally, “clean myself up.”

“then take a shower.” yukhei looks up at him with this strange look on his face, completely devoted, and says, “you shouldn't listen to jaehyun, yeah?”

 

|

 

in total, it took maybe a month for it to stop feeling weird. the first few times sicheng took yukhei back to his flat, after that initial night when they'd both been too drunk to hold back, it was awkward, fumbling, with neither of them really sure at what point they were supposed to stop talking and start kissing. the sex had been hesitant, careful, sicheng definitely aware of the fact that they were crossing a line, and judged by his touches, by the look on his face, yukhei felt the same way.

really, sicheng shouldn't have expected anything different. yukhei was what, two years younger than him, still had that teenage clumsiness in his touches and words, and really, sicheng hadn't bothered with asking but he was pretty sure yukhei had never been with another man before that. in some sense, he'd been just sicheng's type, the inexperienced young guy he could teach to fuck him just how he needs it, but on the other, yukhei was also completely different from most of the other guys sicheng had hooked up with before. that first night, he'd treated sicheng like a doll, maybe some other toy, had folded him in half and shut him up with fingers in his mouth and fucked him thoroughly into oblivion, had called him a slag and a little bitch and left bruises, and after, sicheng had felt more open and undone than he had in ages, completely relaxed even when he was aching all over.

yeah, he'd known that he wanted to fuck yukhei for quite some time, but he didn't know he needed it like that, messy and angry and careless, so that's why he took yukhei back to his flat again after their next rehearsal, and then once more after they'd spent the evening out at the pub. then, the sex had been soft and slow, too slow, when all sicheng really wanted was for yukhei to fuck him the way he did the first time, wanted to bring that side out once more.

the other thing about yukhei that made sicheng want him was, he was incredibly big, not just in the obvious way, but he was taller than sicheng, broader, his hands so huge they nearly wrapped around sicheng's completely when he had them pinned against the shower wall, and when he was using sicheng, moving him as he pleased and fucking him so good it almost hurt, that insecurity that he usually had was completely gone, and sicheng was more attracted to this second, different yukhei than he liked to admit.

it took maybe a week full of boring awkward sex for him to say it out loud, when yukhei was fucking him on the edge of the bed one late night. that night was a fast fuck, heated and sticky like the air of the room, with yukhei' hands on his thighs, grinding him back against his cock, and then there was the point where yukhei bent down, far enough to get his mouth working against sicheng' ear, “you like this? like getting it like this?”

and sicheng keened, louder and higher than he had previously, and replied, “yeah, fuck, fuck. but.”

“but, what? what do you want?”

sicheng brought his hand up to tug at yukhei's hair, to rile him up, maybe. “want you to go rough on me. real hard,” and like that, it was like a switch being hit.

yukhei's fingers tightened bruising-hard around sicheng's thighs, shoved him further back onto the bed so he himself could get onto the mattress as well and snap his hips forward that bit faster. the next second, his hand was on sicheng's throat, not choking, just holding him still, teeth at his jaw, and sicheng simply couldn't keep the moans and incoherent splutters from spurting out of his mouth, couldn't keep his nails from scratching up yukhei's back until yukhei made a point of gathering both his wrists in one huge hand and pinning them above his head, hissing, “quiet, you slag,” and that, in turn, sent too many chills down sicheng's spine.

it took another few weeks or so until sicheng actually decided to bring up the concept of being owned, a few weeks he mostly spent shagging yukhei and struggling to cover up the bruises no matter how hot the weather got outside, and by then, they were on tour again, just a few small gigs, nothing big. they had a hotel in one city, really more of a travelogue, and that night, after they'd returned from the venue, sicheng was riding yukhei on the soft carpet next to the bed, skin-slapping hard and fast with yukhei's hands digging into his waist and pulling him down further. yukhei had been sloshed that night, both of them, and his pretty red mouth had been this steady stream of, “mine mine mine mine mine,” growled quietly under his breath, eyes glazed over both with drunkenness and appreciation, and that seemed like an appropriate moment for sicheng to say it.

“fuck, yukhei, i.” he braced his hands further up on yukhei's chest, took that second to try and get his breathing back in check, “you should fuck me like you own me.”

“what d'you mean?”

“like i'm yours to use.”

“but you are,” yukhei said, very matter-of-fact, and the next second, his hands were cradling sicheng's back and gathering him close, flipping them both over so he could really drive in and devastate sicheng. “all mine.”

sicheng laughed at him and wasn't sure why, whether it was the way the alcohol and the sudden movement had made his head spin, or how earnest and simple yukhei's answer was, the look on his face, all oblivious and wide-eyed and making it that bit more obvious just how young he was, or maybe the fact they were even doing this, having sex, but yukhei shut him up with his mouth against sicheng' own and one hand around his throat, and with that, the topic seemed to be over.

yukhei didn't bring it up again until after the end of that tour, when they were back at sicheng's flat and tangled together in the sheets, both still damp from the shower they'd just taken.

“so,” he started after it had been quiet for a few minutes, after sicheng was half convinced he might have fallen asleep.

sicheng simply hummed in response.

“about what you were saying in the hotel the other night.”

“what do you mean?” sicheng asked, not to play dumb, but because he'd had doubts that yukhei even remembered that particular part of that night.

“about wanting me to own you. what'd you mean by that?”

“you know, just. being yours.” sicheng turned until he could hide his face in yukhei's chest, and then he said, “and you'd be able to control me, like, completely. when we're in bed and when we aren't.” he listened to yukhei's breathe quietly, felt his chest heave with it, and said, “and i could wear a collar to show that i'm being owned, you know. things like that.”

yukhei didn't say anything for a long while, and when sicheng looked up, he was still awake, eyes focused on sicheng's face.

“i'm sorry if this sounds weird for you.”

“it kind of does, yeah.” yukhei's fingers pet over sicheng's hair, catching on the wet strands, and sicheng flinched a bit. “like you want me to abuse you.”

“it's not abuse,” sicheng insisted and went back to resting his head on yukhei's chest. “just handing over some control.” he moved that bit closer to yukhei, took in his body heat and how his clean skin smelled different even when they'd been using the same soap, and said, “and i wouldn't let you do anything to me like hit me unless we'd discussed it beforehand.”

“so you want me to hit you,” yukhei repeated and sounded almost horrified by the thought.

“not that, maybe.” sicheng hummed and said, “maybe spank me. really make me hurt.”

“why would you let me do that?”

“'cause you own me. and it's relaxing.”

“you've done this with anyone before?”

“my last boyfriend.” sicheng thought back to that and added, “before the band.”

“i don't know.” yukhei stroked over sicheng's hair again, and then said, “i don't know much about this whole thing.”

“you could look it up. we can go over it together.”

“and i don't want to really hurt you,” yukhei said, voice all soft and hesitant.

sicheng couldn't help but laugh at him, and he moved that slight bit to completely straddle yukhei's hips. he couldn't help but get a bit turned on by the whole prospect of that, of yukhei owning him, yukhei hurting him, just the right amount, and he figured they might as well go in for a second round now.

“'s what the safeword is for. if it gets too much.”

“what d'you mean?” yukhei asked, his face soft still, but his hands were already moving down to sicheng's arse.

“i'll explain later, yeah?” sicheng said, before closing the gap between them, and yukhei made an affirming soft noise into the kiss.

 

|

 

yukhei finishes tying the last knot on the rope.

“all right. can you still move?”

sicheng shrugs as good as he can, with both his hands tied above his head, and then moves his wrists against the restraints. the rope is just loose enough to not cut off his circulation, just enough for him to move his wrists a bit, but still tight enough to rub painfully into the skin with every slight motion.

“you really want to do this?” yukhei asks, eyes turned downward to focus on sicheng'.

really, if sicheng had to guess by his face, he'd assume that between the two of them, yukhei is the more nervous one. he can't help but smile when he says, “of course i want to do this. you?”

“i'm not sure,” yukhei says, and there it is.

“you're the one who suggested it in the first place.”

“yeah, but. what if i hurt you,” yukhei says, all small and vulnerable, and it isn't a question.

“you're not going to hurt me.” sicheng tilts his face up, beckons for a kiss from yukhei as some mean of reassuring him, and yukhei leans down and obliges.

“safeword is 'donkatsu'.”

“donkatsu” sicheng repeats. it's the word they always use, but this is probably the farthest they've gone so far, the most out there, and besides, yukhei always gets like this, all careful and insistent about boundaries, when they're trying something new. sicheng has to admit it's kind of cute, in a way.

“what if you're too far gone to talk and you want me to stop?”

“i could raise two fingers or something.”

“okay. two fingers.” yukhei presses another kiss to sicheng's mouth and settles in between his open legs. sicheng's skin is already shivering with anticipation, that and how cold the room is around them, so when yukhei lays his full weight on top of him, slowly, slowly, so much warmer than his own, he can't help but hiss.

“let's get you ready,” yukhei says into the crook of sicheng's neck, presses a kiss onto the skin there, and another one right below it.

sicheng hums in affirmation. really, he doesn't want to wait much longer, wants for yukhei to get on with it already, but if yukhei is going to be like this, is going to trail soft kisses down his chest and hold his hips down tight with both hands, sicheng supposes he can't do much else. besides, there's a lovely shiver running along his spine when yukhei pauses to flick his tongue across one nipple, making it pebble up hard in the cool air, and then again when his nails pinch it just a bit. the next thing, yukhei moves down lower, lower, along the very edge of sicheng's heaving ribcage and down to his soft belly, lips moving in small, soft patterns all over his skin. his pink tongue darts out and traces a stripe from the waistband of sicheng's knickers up to his navel, dips into it briefly, and when that makes an itchy wave of pleasurable feelings run under sicheng's skin, he has to resist the urge to buck his hips.

sicheng keeps his eyes fixed on yukhei's when he raises his head and smiles up at him, before he goes back to pressing a chain of wet kisses to sicheng's hips just above the knickers. the fingers of his one hand pull and pinch at the soft skin on the inside of his thigh, nails digging into the skin in such a way that sicheng knows there'll be burning-red crescents left after they're done. it's close, so close to his cock but not quite, the sting of it only making him harden quicker, feels like being lit up, in a weird sense, and when yukhei moves his mouth to suck at the marks, sicheng's hips actually do jump up. he gets yukhei's large hands for that, short fingernails scratching red lines where his pelvic bones are jutting out above the knickers, and has to gasp, struggling only barely against the tight hold.

“you look so pretty when you're tied up,” yukhei says, his voice already heavy with need. it's about as needy as sicheng feels with his dick pressed into his hip, the tight lace of the knickers just enough touch to keep him from getting completely desperate, but not near enough to be in any way satisfying. sicheng makes a point of wiggling his wrist up against the rope holding them in place, feels it rub his skin sore and open, the burning pain of the abrasion taking at least some of the edge off. his legs shake, though, both from the amount of sensation, pain and pleasure and pent-up need from the fact that yukhei hasn't fucked him in three days now, and yukhei chuckles deep under his breath and holds them down by his thighs. “d'you think the next time i should tie your ankles, too?” his voice comes against the spit-sticky skin of sicheng's stomach, before his tongue darts out again and licks right along his waistband.

it stops right before it can get too close to his cock, yukhei pulls off and instead breathes hot over the head of it, and the whine that comes out of sicheng's mouth at that is downright embarrassing.

yukhei grins up at him and hooks a single finger into the leg of the knickers, pulling them away so even that last bit of stimulation is gone from sicheng's cock, and says, “what d'you think about that?” and only then sicheng realises that it wasn't a rhetorical question.

“why not,” he replies, voice so soft it's barely more than a breathe, and that's almost embarrassing as well, how easy it is for yukhei to get him all undone and soft. already, he can feel the fuzz creeping up to cloud his brain, feel that it probably won't be much longer until he goes completely under.

as if to prove his point, yukhei's hands move down to sicheng's thighs and clamp around them, effectively fixing sicheng down to the bed, and sicheng isn't sure if it's that or the look on his face, all self-satisfied and superior, that makes his skin prickle with excitement that much more.

“you'd like that, princess? like it if i tied you down so you can't move at all? take complete control?” yukhei asks, mouth attaching to the fabric of the knickers again, getting it all gross with spit, but still pointedly avoiding sicheng' cock.

“'f course i'd like that,” sicheng replies, and when yukhei actually begins to pull the knickers down with his teeth, he has to shut his eyes to keep himself from getting too excited at that sight.

he can feel yukhei slip the flimsy fabric further down, over his cock, feels yukhei's nose brush along the inside of his thigh and his breath fan out over the sensitive skin of his balls, and his knees go weak, his legs shake once again until yukhei has to hold them down.

“don't move, okay, love?” he asks, and it's not really a request, more of an order.

sicheng feels mildly ashamed at that, at his complete lack of self-control, the blood rushing into his cheeks and clouding his brain. he has to twist his wrists up into their bindings once again. “okay.”

yukhei sucks a bruise onto the inside of sicheng's hip, the line where his pelvis curves into his groin, and hums. his hands go down to sicheng' arse and lift him up a bit, just enough for him to rip the knickers down to his thighs, and then he slides them all the way off. the cool air of the room only hits sicheng's cock fully now, makes his skin tighten and reminds him of how hard he is at once, precome wetting the skin of his belly. he's got this urge to buck his hips up into the empty space, to make yukhei get on with it and do something to him already, but at the same time, that blurry need to be good and do what yukhei asks of him is stronger than the want to be touched, so he doesn't move.

yukhei settles back between his legs, now, carefully hooks his hands under sicheng's thighs to bend them upward and spread them apart for easier access, and the next second, he's slouching down so all he has to do is bob his head a bit to put his mouth on sicheng's cock or his hole. his hole's already tingling a bit, even when yukhei hasn't gotten remotely close to touching it, but sicheng is already impatient to be stretched open once more.

“you're so soft all over,” yukhei observes while he's pressing his lips feather-soft to the inside of sicheng's knee, then trails a whole series of kisses up his leg.

“my dick's not soft,” sicheng insists, even through the haze around his brain, and he can't help but laugh at the remark.

yukhei laughs back against his inner thigh, the vibration of it tickling the soft skin, and licks along the crease where sicheng's leg joins up with his crotch, an unexpectedly sensitive patch of flesh. “you're right, it isn't,” he says, both his mouth and fingers still making a point of not touching sicheng's cock, but now his breath is fanning over his balls again. “still so lovely.”

sicheng looks down at him, and judged by the look on his face, yukhei is about ready to destroy him, to open him up and turn him into a quivery, shaking mess, his lips all messy with saliva and his eyes dark, fingers gripping sicheng's thighs a bit too hard. he wants to ask yukhei to get on with it, that urge to be touched all over and turned inside-out taking over even the need to be a good girl, the knowing that if he stays still and lets yukhei take his time he'll be rewarded for it later on.

it takes his jumbled brain a few seconds to get the words together, seconds during which yukhei keeps pressing tiny licks and kisses all around sicheng's groin except for his actual cock, and then it finally comes out, “come on, yukhei, stop teasing.”

yukhei pulls away and stares back at him, looking almost shocked that sicheng could ever ask that of him, and says, “now, now.” his one arm stretches up to slip a finger into the d ring of the collar and tug, and he continues, his voice all cold and superior and generally mocking, “didn't think you were in any position to order me around, love.”

he tugs at the collar, makes it go a little bit tighter around sicheng's throat and makes him gasp in anticipation of how much more of that he's going to get later on, and sicheng replies, “i'm sorry, yukhei.”

“apology accepted.”

yukhei pulls his hand away from the collarbone and brings it back down to himself, but not before he takes a moment to pinch sicheng's one nipple, already overly sensitive from his mouth on it. he spreads sicheng out a little wider, so much his legs strain, and kisses the inside of his thigh once more.

“you've got the loveliest pussy, you know,” yukhei says, voice noticeably heavier, and then his lips are right on sicheng's hole, pressing a soft kiss onto it. “want to taste it.”

with that, yukhei is canting sicheng's hips up that bit further, both hands underneath his arse, and then he's finally going in for it, tongue swishing over sicheng's hole softly before it dips in.

and sicheng breathes, he sucks in so much air it ends up sounding like a cross between a hiss and a sigh, the wet feeling of yukhei's tongue breaching his insides finally giving him the gratification he's been craving, legs tingling and cock stiffening that bit more. he brings one shaky leg up and lays it across yukhei's back, for that bit of extra leverage, so he can rub his hips back again yukhei's face and make sure he doesn't stop, which he doesn't. yukhei loves this, sicheng knows that, loves having sicheng all over him and slowly losing his composure when he's holding his cheeks apart and fucking him open with his tongue, and sicheng swears he can feel the motion of yukhei's hips grinding into the bed underneath him.

this sound that's a bit begging him to stop and a bit pleading for him to continue leaves sicheng's mouth when yukhei sucks at his hole, teeth digging into the rim, and he hums, mouth pulling off to kiss a sloppy trail back up to sicheng' balls.

“you're so pretty,” he says, all soft and praising, this look on his face like he's never had anything better, “could do this to you all day,” and then he's sucking one into his wet mouth.

sicheng actually keens at that, the feeling of yukhei's tongue working over the sensitive skin there almost more painful than it's pleasurable, but it's making his nerves flare up either way, hips working back into it and stomach tightening. yukhei pulls off before it can get too much, before he's too close to coming, and goes back to sicheng's hole, swirling his tongue around it once before he's working in his first finger. it's a tight fit, even when sicheng is already somewhat open from his tongue, too long since he's had anything inside him, since yukhei has let him, and it's so, so much, the burn and the stretch and yukhei's mouth sucking at his perineum and tonguing his rim, too much. yukhei curls his finger just like that, to get at his prostate, and sicheng literally squeaks, his muscles lock up automatically and his leg draws yukhei's head that bit closer against him. his hole clenches, too, but then yukhei licks around it once again and it loosens back up, enough for him to get another finger inside, and sicheng whines and whimpers shapelessly. what he wants is more, more than those two fingers prodding and twisting and nudging around inside him can give, he's aching for yukhei's cock inside of him, stretching and hurting and filling him up, and then yukhei's mouth goes up to his cock and folds around the tip, burning and wet, and his fingers twist just like that and sicheng shouts.

yukhei looks up at him with big dark eyes and hums, lips sinking down a bit further on sicheng's dick, his mouth soft velvet and his fingers are still working, and it's all too much and no, no, sicheng doesn't want to come this soon. not before the main event.

“yukhei,” he breathes, hips coming to a stop slowly, “yukhei, hang on.”

there's a filthy popping sound when yukhei pulls off his dick, “what?” and right then, maybe because of the small, soft voice yukhei is saying it in, sicheng realises something.

“yukhei, you're stalling.”

again, “what?”

“you are.”

sicheng unfolds his leg from where he had it wrapped around yukhei's head, and that seems to get the message across because now yukhei is sitting up and pulling his fingers out slowly. he wipes his mouth on his hand and asks, “what d'you mean?”

“yukhei.” sicheng would reach one hand out, but the bindings are still keeping him from really moving too much. “does this make you nervous?”

yukhei doesn't reply except for a small, “well.” he looks so small where he's kneeling between sicheng's legs, small and insecure and completely lost like he hasn't looked for a long time since they started this thing now, and sicheng feels so bad for him, and also, bad for putting him in this situation.

“it's all right if it does.” sicheng nudges yukhei' side with one knee, it's all he can do, and yukhei just looks at him. “you're allowed to word out, too, you know?”

“yeah.” yukhei slowly moves back down, laying his full weight on top of sicheng, and then he's fingering the collar and beckoning for sicheng to kiss him, so sicheng obliges. “yeah, no.”

“what, no?”

“i want to do this.” yukheis' hands travel down along sicheng's torso, down to his hips, and spread him out that little bit further. “if it's what you need, then i'll do it.”

“okay,” sicheng replies, and this time, when he looks, yukhei is back to normal, to the confident self he puts on when they're doing this. “remember, if you get too uncomfortable...”

“if i get too uncomfortable i'm wording out. yeah.” another kiss, soft and quick, and yukhei says, “and if i go too hard on you you're raising your two fingers, okay?”

“okay,” sicheng says again. he bumps his forehead against yukhei's for a short second and watches him as he leans over to grab the lube from the bedside, his insides already a bit tingly with anticipation.

yukhei goes quick, now, squirts the liquid onto his palm and spreads it onto his cock before he applies it to where sicheng is already somewhat open, coldcoldcold, and then he's pushing in before sicheng really has the time to prepare himself for the moment.

he's still so tight, and really, it's always a tight fit, but this time it's worse, when yukhei's large hands go to tug sicheng back against his dick he can't help but arch his back and hiss. yukhei is splitting him open, tearing at his insides, ache, ache, the best kind of ache, and sicheng relishes it, nails dug into his palms and hips pushing upward. there's tears welling up in his eyes, just a little, and he blinks them away.

“you all right?” yukhei asks, and sicheng can't help but be embarrassed by the sniffle that slips out.

“'f course i am.” sicheng circles his hips experimentally, stretches himself out a bit further on yukhei's cock, and when it rubs over his prostate, he sucks in a harsh breath. “you're just so big.”

yukhei looks down at him and grins, all sleazy and satisfied with himself, slowly thrusting in and out now, and then he says, “'m sorry.”

“it's all right.”

sicheng stretches one leg to bring it around yukhei's hips and get a better angle that way, and then yukhei really starts moving, hips snapping back and forth at a normal pace. it's too fast, really, the switch too abrupt, and it's painful, but then, painful is how sicheng likes it. he whines when yukhei gets a good thrust in, his dick grinding along that spot for a long second, and then he can already feel the pit of his stomach tightening, his nerve endings tightening up, and, hang on, hang on.

“come on, yukhei,” he breathes, how oddly appropriate, he's breathing when he shouldn't be, when he doesn't want to be, and only then he notices, yukhei's hand is trailing up from where it was on his hip to his neck, fingers pressing softly against the collar. yes. “get on with it.”

“i'm getting on with it,” yukhei replies, and then he does it, his hand moves to just above the soft leather, just below the edge of sicheng' jaw, and presses down.

and.

his hips keep snapping forward, pressing harsh breath after harsh breath out of sicheng's mouth, keen after keen, except now his high-pitched little sounds of pleasure-pain are getting quieter and quieter and it's getting harder to breathe. yukhei is watching him, that little glint in his eye when he's really gotten into that headspace he gets, the one where he's completely taking ownership over sicheng, and sicheng shivers at the thought, feels the fuzzy slip back into his brain and his cock twitch. he tries to use his mouth, tries to deliberately moan or say something or otherwise imply for yukhei to continue like this, with all his voice all gone from his silent sighs now, but no sound comes out even when he really tries.

and.

and then, yukhei's hand fully squeezes down on his airways, leaves him gasping away uselessly, and within the next few seconds that fuzz is creeping up on his vision, too, blurs it at the edges, and yukhei is lighting him up, pushing him closer to the edge with every shove of his hips, and he's still watching, self-satisfied and also concerned and also so obviously close, and sicheng is sweating, shaking, leaking with precome and so, so sensitive to every last sensation.

yukhei's other hand comes up to caress his cheek, so big and heavy on his skin and so warm, when did yukhei get so warm, and maybe he's getting warmer too, literally being lit up, and like that, sicheng is gone. he's all yukhei's now, all the way down.

and.

yukhei is biting at his caught-open mouth, his breath hot and invasive and almost mocking, showing off that he's got something that sicheng hasn't got, that he's the one in control here, and he's going, “fuck,” hips snapping and rolling, and then, “fuck, you're so pretty like this.”

and.

“so pretty when you're all under my control and close,” and this time sicheng actually manages to make a noise with the little oxygen he's got left in his lungs, just a soft, desperate whine.

and.

“you've gone all pink, fuck,” yukhei goes, and his hips aren't letting up, slapping against sicheng' so quickly he can hear it, “i could kill you right now, you know that?”

and.

and that's what actually does it for sicheng, he's coming and it feels like bursting, fists curling up tightly, and he's breathing, too, yukhei's hand letting off, finally. when he looks, yukhei is watching him, all devoted and adoring and fascinated, and he's exploding with the built up need to come and the huge breaths he's taking. when yukhei finishes inside him, he can feel it, he doesn't have nerve endings, only white-hot wires, and then, then it's over.

sicheng feels all flushed and fucked out and the bindings on his wrists are too much, the sheets on his back and yukhei deep inside him are too much, yukhei easing himself out carefully is too much. he's still sobbing, he realises that only after the first few have come out, still too far gone to talk.

“fuck,” yukhei says once again. he looks not even half as fucked-out as sicheng feels, and he's slowly untying the rope, pressing soft kisses to sicheng's face, but sicheng turns his face away from him. it's all too much, all too intense and pushing at nerve endings that are glowing too hotly right now.

“you were great tonight,” yukhei continues, when he's slowly placed sicheng's wrists on the pillow next to him. “so lovely.”

in response, sicheng sighs, and yukhei presses another kiss onto his lips, careful, careful, but still too much.

“i love you so much.”

“too much.”

“what?”

“stop touching me,” sicheng whispers, and it takes too much effort.

“sorry, love.” yukhei moves away, kneels up on the mattress and makes a move to get up. “is it okay if i go for a minute? just to get you a drink and a flannel for clean up?”

“okay,” sicheng breathes, and then he's shutting his eyes, taking a breather. he's got to sleep.

he notices when yukhei comes back, after only about a minute, like he said, feels him slowly wipe the mess on his stomach off, and then yukhei is fitting himself against his side, careful, careful to not touch any particularly sensitive parts, and breathes.

“love you.”

“love you back.”

yukhei kisses sicheng's neck just above the collar, where his hand had been, and then slowly unbuckles it. “you know i didn't really mean that, right? that part about killing you?”

“i know.”

“i was just fucking with you. heat of the moment.”

“i know, don't stress about it." sicheng giggles.

 

|

 

some mornings, sicheng wakes up with the mattress already empty on yukhei's side, empty and only barely warm. he hears the shower running and rolls out of bed himself, pulls yukhei's shirt from last night off the floor and slips it on, that and a pair of knickers, and he breathes. he feels the shirt sag around his collarbones and arms and thighs, feels himself drown in it, and he lights a cigarette and doesn't bother with going out to the balcony.

those mornings, he can't help but feel really content.


End file.
